Divorce Mediation Evanston Illinois | How to discuss divorce with your children

Resolving your divorce in an amicable manner and crafting a resolution that meets everyone’s needs can minimize the affects divorce has on children. At RMG Family Law, Rita Ghose has experience with collaboration and divorce mediation Evanston Illinois and will make sure your family can move forward and have success and happiness in the future.     

Divorce is a difficult thing to go through for parents and their children. Although parents always try to protect their children, they do have to deal with things like: their parents’ arguments, limited family time, and changes in their routines and lifestyle as a result of divorce proceedings. It is important that parents be honest with their children and inform them about the divorce without making them feel scared or alone in feeling those emotions.

Divorce Mediation Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law
Divorce Mediator Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law

Talk about divorce and avoid assigning blame

When you’re talking with your children about divorce, it’s important to keep the conversation abstract. Don’t talk about specific people or events (e.g., “Your dad is dating someone new”), because these details can be upsetting and confusing for children, especially if they’re still young. You should tell them the truth, but they don’t need explicit details about why it happened, how it happened, and how each parent feels about the situation. 

Instead of focusing on yourself or your partner, think about providing information that the child will want to know. They may feel better knowing that you and your partner will be happier, they will have two homes, and that they will still be an important part of both of your lives.    

Avoid discussing blame. It can be tempting to blame your ex for the divorce, but this is not helpful for your children. They don’t need to hear angry comments about their other parent or hear you complain that he or she didn’t do enough to help the family stay together. If you have any negative feelings toward your ex, keep them private until after discussions with your kids have ended. Similarly, avoid blaming yourself for the divorce; it’s not productive for anyone involved in the conversation if you start feeling guilty.

If you decide to engage in collaboration or divorce mediation Evanston Illinois, you will be able to work with professionals that can ensure you and your former partner put your children’s best interests at the forefront of any negotiation. Rita Ghose has the experience to ensure that you have a resolution that supports the goals you have for your children and family. 

Divorce Mediation Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law
Divorce Mediator Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law
Divorce Mediation Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law
Divorce Mediator Evanston Illinois | Rita M. Ghose | RMG Family Law

Provide a safe place for children to talk about their feelings

When you talk to your kids about divorce, it’s important to consider their age. They have their own emotions and needs that will be different from yours. You want to provide a safe place for them to share how they feel without judgment or criticism. Let them know that it’s okay for them to feel sad, angry, happy, and anything else that they may be feeling. 

Even during the divorce process, you can provide them information about how their lives will change, even if you don’t have specifics at the moment. Be open about the fact that they will have a new living situation, they will see each parent at different times, and that other things may change as well. Allow them to ask questions and answer as clearly and honestly as possible while reassuring them that they will remain safe and loved. 

If you feel like you are unable to provide them the support they need, find another family member, a friend, or a professional to help them discuss and cope with their feelings. If you are using collaboration or divorce mediation Evanston Illinois, your attorney will be able to provide you with additional resources and names of professionals that can help your children through the process. 

For collaboration or divorce mediation Evanston Illinois, contact Rita Ghose 

Children should never be lied to about divorce. It’s okay to say you don’t know how you feel or what will happen next, but it’s not okay to pretend like nothing is going on around them. Kids may have questions and it’s important that they feel heard and understood. 

If your child is old enough to understand, you can explain the process you will be going through to resolve your divorce. If you choose collaboration or divorce mediation Evanston Illinois, you can inform your children that you and your partner will be working together to make decisions that benefit everyone. 

Explain that it’s important for parents to work together on issues affecting children and that, with the help of your attorney or mediator, you are going to do what is best for your family. You want everyone to have a fulfilling future and you two are working together to ensure that happens. 

As a family lawyer and mediator, Rita Ghose has dedicated her career to resolving issues through the collaborative process and mediation. She also has vast litigation experience, but will always try to resolve disputed matters amicably, first. Contact RMG Family Law today for a consultation. 

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